Holding on. Held on. Still holding.
Like a rollercoaster, the anticipation once on the ride is overwhelming, exciting, a thrill and rush of emotions overflowing! For a moment, it’s intensely satisfying.
Deep Breath.
Just like that. It’s over.
Like a rollercoaster it’s over as quickly as it started, it whipped me around, jostling and jerking and had me holding on as tightly as I could to stay in the height of emotional excitement, and worthy.
Holding on. Held on. Still holding.
I’ve bought a ticket, I’m standing in line again. I know what’s to come, yet I still wait in an impatient and addictive manner because the resistance of what could be on the other side feels impossible to run through. I yo-yo back and forth, to get back on this ride or to drop the rope.
To release the weight off my back. The tension in my stomach. The cloudiness in my mind. Who would I be then? What’s at stake? Yo-yo. Yo-yo. The line is getting shorter. Soon I’ll be back in this pressure to get on the ride or shamefully walk out of line and decide I’m not going this time.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
Just like that, it’s over.
This time, it felt different. The thrill and excitement weren’t there. The ride seemed as though it was in slow motion. Like I wasn’t on it. My body was there, my heart and my mind were unlocking the door to another place. This place. Feels- -Different. A shift. A Release. What would it feel like to explore here? I wonder. I get lost in the wonder and curiosity of this place. I’m interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. Aren’t you going to go on the rollercoaster? You love them! Come on. Why aren’t you going? You know you’re missing out.
Deep breath.
Just like that, it’s over.
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